Monday, February 07, 2005 / Monday, February 07, 2005
anyone...juz dun provoke me at this point of time..i might juz go crazy...happiness is shortlived...i definately agree with it...but wads most impt is whether its realli true happiness anot...well...it doesnt matter anyway now..
felt so retarded...nv felt like tt b4...wads happening xia...hope its all a dream...at least the pain inflicted on me is not so realistic...i guess i had enough...duno wad the hack did i do wrong to make me deserve all these sufferings...
guess wad..i am gona put everything down...though i am actualli feeling so much pain and disappointment in me...haha...wad can i do xia...face it of cuz...since i cant change it...wel...think i am dangerous person now..so dun cum near me..includin my close frenz and budz...cuz i might juz throw my temper at u..and u noe tts the thing tt i dun ever wish to happen...so..juz leave me alone..if u guys care...
i am realli getting tired...tired of thinkin abt things...e future...os results...everything..its juz like i feel so emotionless...ppl...dun ask me why i am feeling so pissed nowadays..cuz i guess i dun even have that bit of energy to spill out my thoughts... its juz so tiring...and its gona piss me further off..sorry if i have to say tt..
ya...so...haha...basically u r juz listenin to a living robot...work..go hme slp..next day...same routine..tts my life for nw...guess i am more relax durin night time..these few days..ppl keep dragging me to pub..haha..dun even hav tt energy to reject..i am juz so lazy...ya..drink..at least sorrows can be washed away with it...i am gona be independent..cuz i guess the oni person i can trust is myself...not gona let ppl take care of me..its juz stressing me out..its no big deal anyway..even if i drink myself to death..guess it isnt as painful as i am feelin right nw...
trying so hard to force tt smile i always had out...but it seems as though my face is gona crack...wadever it is.. i am gona recover...though its been a few yrs...but i hope to see my medicine in my vison...hope it will get to me b4 i get to suffer frm heartaches..i wonder why this kinda pain keep inflicting on me...over and over again...is this fair to me?